Almost There!

I know it's been a while, but there hasn't been much to report or to say. But I just wanted to give a brief update on Baby Agee!

This is a 31 week shot of our precious little guy! We have been so fortunate to of had such an uneventful and easy pregnancy. We are down to the wire here....we are exactly one month out from my due date! Which is insane! Time is flying by, and I know as soon as he gets here it will fly by some more.

I have to say how overwhelmed my husband and I are by the outpouring of love and support we have received throughout this whole journey. I never realized how blessed I was until this trying time in our lives. I never realized how God REALLY worked if you really seek God and put total 100% faith in Him. I never really had to surrender fully to God, and if you aren't familiar with faith or if your skeptical (and in the world we're living in I don't blame you to be) trust me. This little bitty baby that's kicking me currently and squirming all around is a miracle. I'm still now sure how people can not believe after having a baby. In my mind cells form this beautiful baby and turn into a heart, a brain, arms, feet, a face and everything else in between.

Hindsight of this journey is now knowing that God wasn't testing me or my faith or even my marriage. He wasn't even punishing me for not being the best Christian, but he was waiting for the perfect timing. For this specific egg and specific sperm to come together and form our son. Our son who we thought would never come to be. I'm so glad that we didn't quit, we didn't get totally discouraged and we just kept on going. So I'll leave you with some of our maternity pics I just got back today. I hope you are encouraged by this post, I hope you are uplifted by this post, and most of all I hope you see how real God is and how He works in our lives if you just open yourself up and let him! 

~Until next time!

Second Trimester!

I apologize for how long it's been. I haven't felt good at all until this week...week 15 of my pregnancy! So now I can put some energy into my blog!

This week we found out that in just a few short months we will be welcoming a baby BOY into our little family!

Pregnancy was not what I was expecting it to be. Obviously every woman is different, I knew my body would change... I was just surprised at how quickly things would start changing. My horrible headaches have been the worst! It's hard not taking any meds that I know will help. Instead of reaching for my ole trusty bottle of ibuprofen I had to take Tylenol. I spent many evenings and weekends in bed. I was so miserable! I hated even complaining though, I'm so blessed to be pregnant. And for the past few years I thought it would never happen, so I wanted to enjoy each second of being pregnant. Thankfully I'm feeling like a new woman ;-) I'm waiting on the nesting part to kick in because this house needs a good clean haha.

Last night I felt my baby boy move for the first time, and as soon as we found out we were having a boy it was like he had an instant identity! I still can't believe there is a little baby growing inside me! And more importantly I can't believe he will be here in about 5 months! So insane! After all we've been through we are going to have what we've been dreaming for! I'm so thankful for each and everyone of your prayers, concerns and positive words throughout this journey! You have no idea how much your words have lifted me when I thought nothing but negative thoughts!

I hope to keep this blog updated! It's hard but I'm going to try and stick with it. I'll leave you with this, faith....your faith can be as small as a mustard seed but that's enough to move a mountain! Just keep the faith and believing in Him. He will grant you the desires of your heart. I promise. I'm proof!

~Until next time!

My Favorite Post!

On April 17th bright and early in the morning Josh and I went into the doctors office for our transfer. I can't explain to you how nervous/scared/excited I was just to be there. Below is the picture of the embryo. There is a big black circle and underneath that is a white line; and that is our baby 😍

To our surprise 10 days later I went into the doctors office. I literally prayed the whole way there. I didn't know what to expect. I really honestly had no idea if I was pregnant. So I got my bloodwork done and I was off to work. Knowing that in a little while one phone call could literally change my mind. Low and behold at around 10:30ish that morning that call came in. The nurse confirmed it, and with tears in my eyes and my voice shaking I thanked the nurse and called my husband. The rest of that day was a blur. But I had a certainty that no matter what everything was going to be fine from here. After two more blood tests my levels were going up like they should! And last Friday I had my first ultrasound. It doesn't look like much but there's a tiny little baby in there! That is my 5w6d ultrasound! 

This morning I went back for my 6w6d ultrasound. And I saw the most amazing little flicker of light. And I knew it was my little baby's heartbeat. I couldn't hear it, but my heart literally skipped a beat when I saw it. 

And now I know that our little baby is growing and what a wonderful feeling it is. 

I want to thank each and every one of you who have prayer, cried, laughed, and encouraged us through this process. And while I'm sure parenthood is going to be a roller coaster, this has already been one heck of a ride. I've never felt so blessed and thankful for God has blessed us with this itty bitty baby that's growing inside of me. I seriously love and appreciate you all! You have encouraged me when I had about had it with injections and pills, you've made me smile. When I was feeling negative about our results I relied on your faith when I felt like mine was running out. I will keep you updated as I know more and of course when we find out the gender. Please keep praying for a healthy

 pregnancy! I have faith that it's going to work out and be fine! 

Until next time 

~Amber 

The Transfer

Tomorrow is the big day! Tomorrow at 8 am we will be transferring two of our little growing embryos into my body! I'm so stinking excited I can't stand it! I doubt I will be getting any sleep tonight. The super exciting part of this whole part is that Josh gets to be in the room with me. 

With all of that said several days after the procedure they will be able to tell me if I'm pregnant. So this going to be my last post for a few weeks! And after all that I've been through these past couple of weeks it means a lot to have all of you by my side through out this whole process! Seriously you have no idea how you've encouraged me day after day. I'm so glad that I decided to take a chance and start this blog. I hope you've found some encouragement in reading and I hope you too can share your journey and help just one person. I promise it will be worth it! 

Please continue to pray with me and my family for our little miracle<3

~Until next time! 

Egg Retrieval Part 2

Hi Everyone! 

Thank you all so much for your well wishes and prayers! Thankfully the Egg Retrieval yesterday was a major success! They were able to get 10 eggs! Apparently the average is 6-8. So I was so excited to hear that news! But this morning I got a call from my doctors and they told me that 9 of the 10 eggs fertilized! How insanely incredible! I was so surprised! I know I'm an emotional mess but I swear everytime I speak to the drs office I tear up! 

Please continue to pray for all 9 of our little growing embryos :-) On Friday they will transfer two of the best looking embryos and the others will be frozen! So far everything is going the way it's supposed to. I can't help but smile and I can't help but see Gods handy work in mine and Josh's life.

I also want to encourage you, if you are having fertility issues to talk about them. I promise it will make this journey so much easier. You'd also be surprised how many people are having similar issues! It truly helps. I promise since I've started this blog I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! 

I will update more on Friday! Thanks for joining my journey! 

~Until next time! 

Egg Retrieval!

Today I got my schedule for the next phase of this crazy journey. Sunday morning I go in for the egg retrieval! It's the most exciting/stressful/scary time right now! I can't believe it's finally here! After all this time, after all the daily shots, it's almost here! It's finally our shot at having a baby. In case you're reading this and you have no idea what the egg retrieval process is I'll tell you!


Basically I've been taking a bunch of meds to increase the size of the follicles that are in my ovaries. The follicles hold the eggs. The goal is to get the follicles to a certain size. The day of the egg retrieval they take out as many eggs as they can. The same day they fertilize those eggs. And for five days they "grow" essentially into embryos. On the fifth day they will transfer two of those embryos back into my body. And several days later we'll know if I'm pregnant.....


With all of that being said, the egg retrieval is a little more difficult. So I ask you for all your prayers, thoughts, vibes or whatever you have to give. They do put me to sleep which is why I guess I'm a little anxious. I'm trying not to put all my eggs in one basket (pun intended). But I'm super excited and I am speaking great things. God gives us the desire of our hearts, and I know I want to be a mother. I hope one day my child that I will have will be able to see how much I loved them before they were even here, how much we wanted them. My body has been through so much these past few years, I know that it will be worth it. I'm staying positive because I know Gods word is true.

Again, thank you all for your kind words and prayers. You can't possibly know how much that means to me<3 I'll leave you with this:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7

~ And until next time

And We're Off

So yesterday afternoon I got the call from my doctors office to start the daily injections. With mixed emotions last evening Josh and I mixed all the meds and took another step closer to starting our family!

Throughout these past few weeks since I've shared my journey I've heard from so many people. A lot of people have told me how heartbroken they are for us. They are sad for us because we have to go this route. While I appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers I don't want anyone to be sad for us. This isn't the path I would of chosen. But I have to believe that there is a reason that this is happening to us. I have to believe that one day when I'm holding that little baby, I can honestly say we have waited and prayed for you for so long. I have to hold on to that. If not I'll go crazy. Thank you to all those that are praying for us. Pray for our courage and strength. Pray for our success, pray for my health and mostly pray for us in case it doesn't work. We'll need extra prayers. I'm holding on to my faith and to all of the positivity in the world!


~And until next time!

Hurry Up and Wait...

Waiting is the worst part about this whole situation. You have to start your cycle before you start your meds....lucky me I'm now almost two weeks late, therefore putting IVF off another week. I wish I could say that I was late because I was pregnant....how exciting would that of been? But my doctors appointment yesterday proved that I was not. So now I just have to wait...story of my life.

So I'll stop complaining and talk about Hope.  My sister and my brother in law tried for three years to get pregnant, I won't share all of the details of her story because that's her story to tell, not mine. I learned a lesson watching them gracefully go through years of disappointments, tears, sadness and hopefulness. But one day I was at lunch with some of my girlfriends and I got a phone call from her telling me she took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I remember crying tears of joy, it was surreal.  It still is. And one year ago she gave birth to the most perfect little boy who has captured my heart and who has completely change my idea of miracles, babies and the way God works. I was lucky enough to be in the room when he made his entrance into the world. I can't tell you how beautiful of a moment it was and how exciting it was for me to be with my sister when she became a mom. Makes my outlook a little better as Josh and I wait for our miracle to be concieved. I know that our child is patiently waiting for us too. And below is a picture of me and Liam at his first birthday ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for reading and following my journey. I hope this gives you hope if you are in a similar situation. I'm glad that I have support and and insane amount of people praying for us. You never know how much I appreciate it. 

Until next time! 

Medications!

As you may or may not know the whole point of IVF is to essentially pump you full of meds to help you ovulate, take those eggs out, fertilize them and then put the embryo back in. Seems easy right? It's pretty insane actually. And I'll show you why....I got a package containing this today:

Pretty scary if you don't know what you are getting yourself into. Thankfully and luckily I have a husband who had to get certified to give injections in pharmacy school. I really lucked out when it comes to him! It's really important to have your husband on your side when you're going through all of this. I'm sure he is eager to give me shots 😉 I'm really anxious to get started on this adventure! I just finally feel really positive about this adventure. I hope that if you are reading this you'll send your prayers and positive thoughts our way! I'm about one week out from starting all of this craziness! 


Until next time! 

~Amber 

Failure

During this whole infertility process I've faced a lot of emotions. The hardest part of it all was feeling like a failure. I'm a woman, our bodies were made to have babies. Our bodies know exactly what to do and they know exactly when to do it. My body started failing me about a year ago. All of the sudden I just stopped ovulating. And I still can't wrap my mind around it. 

Lately I've tried to let go of that feeling of failure. For a long time I thought I was failing my husband too. I kept thinking that I was his chance to have a family and it's my fault that we are in this position. What a crappy way to feel. Luckily I pray. I pray often. When I'm feeling particularly crappy I pray all day long I feel like. But it really helps me. And lately I don't feel so sad and crappy about what my body isn't doing or what I think it should be doing. I feel like it's a process I work through each day. And thankfully I have family and friends who listen to me whine and complain. So lucky that I have an awesome support system! 

I wanted to thank each and everyone of you who have commented or messaged me. Thank you for your prayers, your thoughts and your personal stories you've shared. Makes me feel so much better I'm not alone! 

Until next time! 

~Amber

I Do....Now What?

Almost six years ago I said "I Do" to the love of my life. I was 23 years old. Naturally when you get married, immediately people ask right away "are you going to have kids?" Are you kidding me? I was 23 I was just a kid myself & kids were no where on my radar! I wanted to have fun with my new husband! 

Cut to four years later full on baby fever! My husband was finishing up pharmacy school and we were buying our first home. Our lives were taking off, we had everything we wanted and then some. So we took a big leap of faith, threw away the birth control pills and headed out on a new adventure! 

As a young girl you never think in your wildest dreams there would be an issue getting pregnant. It seems so easy right? You have sex, and more sex and yup that's right even more sex. But it should be easy, especially for two mid twenty somethings who've got their lives together, who love one another and have a strong marriage to have a baby. To complete their family. But In the past two years of this journey I've learned that life isn't fair. It just isn't. 

Two years have come and gone, and today I attended a class to prepare myself for our very first IVF cycle. A lot of prayers, tears, conversations & negative pregnancy tests have brought us to this point. While IVF isn't our first go at fertility treatments it is the most invasive thing we are going to try. We are about two weeks out from starting injections and daily meds. I hope that if you're reading this blog that you too can find encouragement and reassurance in your own journey. I don't know all the answers but I hope that this helps at least one person. We can be in this together.  And any words of encouragement or any advice along the way is welcome! 

Thanks for reading! 

~Amber